a little sad.

We had something a little sad happened to us, and as I am processing through it all, I thought it would make me feel better to share it with you.

We have a storage unit that is filled with LOTS of out things that we have been storing on and off for much of our marriage. We have moved multiple times (including across the country the month after our marriage) and because of size or location have always had a large storage unit to keep things that we were not currently using. The size and contents of the storage unit has varied throughout the years, and as of late it was large and very full.

My hubby received a phone call this past weekend that someone had been storing illegal liquid in the unit above ours (and maybe someone was living up there?!?!?) and the liquid had spilled, and was leaking everywhere. At the time of the call they were not sure of the damage of our unit as they were waiting for the HAZMAT team to arrive so they could determine what the substance was.

Now this ranks fairly high on the list of phone calls I didn’t anticipate receiving while on vacation in NYC. Although I couldn’t really remember what exactly was in the unit, I was fairly calm as Brandon explained to me that we would be allowed into the unit to see if there even was damage soon.

What we have heard so far is that there are a few units that have declared a total loss, and from what B could tell initially, it looks like we could possibly be in the same boat.

Now, even hearing that I was feeling ok about it. A lot of what we have stored would be kitchen items, furniture – all things that could be easily replaced. It is just stuff and I wasn’t really emotionally attached to it at all.

Then it hit me.

At dinner last night as I hung up the phone with Brandon, I turned to my friends to relay the information that it would more than likely be a total loss and it just hit me like a ton of bricks. ALL of Zane’s FIRSTS are stored in there.

Sad to loose all her first baby clothes!

Her first year and a half of clothing. All of her little toys. The outfit that we brought her home from the hospital in.

Now, I am not normally a sentimental person, but when it comes to Zane I turn into a MUSHY mess. All of her baby clothes that smell like baby zane still (you know – the baby smell, not the dirty diaper smell). I can’t ever get that back. Ever.

The other thing that I am struggling with is that part of the reason I saved everything was in case we have another. If we ever do, we are officially going to have to start from scratch then. Bummer.

And finally, the MAIN reason I saved it all was because I was planning to ROYALLY bless someone in the future. When we had Zane, we had friends/family who gave us huge chunks of fantastic hardly worn or new with tags clothes – so much so that we hardly had to BUY anything for the first year. I wanted to bottle that feeling up and (after we knew we were done having kids) find someone and just BLESS there living SOCKS RIGHT OFF with just a huge hand-me-down of everything you could need for a little girl.

Now I feel robed of that. Sitting there at the dinner table, I just burst into tears. I know it is just stuff, but I feel a little sad to be loosing all of that.

Loosing “stuff” can be hard sometimes, but it is good to have the right people around you to help keep the right perspective. Sometimes thats all you need – a change in perspective.

To shake it off, I am choosing to look at the bright side. If we do in fact have to claim total loss, at least this will be a great boost to our savings plan :) And in the end, I have a healthy beautiful almost 3 year old who is so vibrant and full of life. That is what is most important. Oh, and I guess we won’t have to pay for a storage unit any more.

So – lets chat – what do you do to maintain a healthy perspective when things don’t go as planned in your life?

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7 Responses to a little sad.

  1. Theresa Sutherland June 10, 2014 at 9:09 pm #

    Oh Lindsay I am so so sorry about this for you. About a 6 months after my daughter Sophie was born we decided to clean out a computer. In doing so we put ALL our pictures on an external hard drive. Needless to say something happened and we lost thousands of pictures. Ugh all of her first year pictures…and pictures from our first 5 years of marriage ahhh I so know this feeling. It is just gut wrenching. The best way I dealt with it was just letting it go and begin again. I started taking tons of pictures and storing them in multiple ways. My best advice..Yes it’s stuff but you can mourn it for a little bit then just get to creating new special things. It’s tough to do but I realized that no amount of crying or getting angry about what happend helped at all. It just made it hurt worse. Sucks but your right you have a healthy wonderful family and that’s is so much to be thankful for…love you!!!

    • Lindsay Stewart June 11, 2014 at 9:53 am #

      Thanks T – love you guys too!!!! We will have to go shopping! :)

  2. Jenni June 10, 2014 at 10:27 pm #

    Oh man. I would have been heart broken. That’s so hard. I really try not to be attached to “stuff”– I am the friend who lends stuff out and if something gets broken doesn’t think twice about it. I never thought I’d be sentimental about X’s firsts…. Boy howdy was I wrong! It would be so hard to think I wouldn’t see some of it again (though, admittedly, it’s in storage likely not to come out any time soon). I totally feel for you. You’re completely right though- it’s stuff (as hard as it is to part with) and you have the beautiful little girl that had all the firsts. That’s the important part. :)

    • Lindsay Stewart June 11, 2014 at 9:58 am #

      I know it right?!?!? I never really thought I would care that much – I am so the same way!

  3. Morgann June 11, 2014 at 10:58 pm #

    I’m so bummed for you! chin up, sister. That stuff probably lost the baby smell anyway…and trust me, if/when you have another baby, you’ll be gifted with TONS of new handmedowns & will pass those on! It’s just stuff. But cry anyway, you’re human!!

    • Lindsay Stewart June 12, 2014 at 1:57 pm #

      Thanks girl!

  4. Jim Romano June 12, 2014 at 7:32 am #

    Ok, so I don’t want to preach and I certainly don’t want to tell you what you already know. So maybe this can just be validation of what you know in your head but haven’t felt in your heart yet.
    After 52 years of life’s celebrations and disappointments, it has taken me almost a lifetime to know that All things work together for Good. He doesn’t say All things ARE good, but that all things work together FOR good. (Yes, I know you KNOW this already, but we try to make sense of it and that’s not possible). How can this work together for good? How can a job loss and financial strain be good? How, How, How….. I have learned that now when ANYTHING happens, and I do mean good or bad, I accept that it is part of a bigger plan that will work for my good. I stopped the “But God Why?” conversations. Unless I can recognize that the ditch I am in is a result of a poor behavior or decision, I accept it, no matter what it is and look forward to the blessing that is coming. Joyce Meyer calls it Double for your Trouble. Trust me, you have a LONG road ahead and I just wish I had embraced this sooner. Looking forward to your praise report!

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