Does it matter what size you wear?

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Clothes.

Does it matter what size you wear? I was talking with a friend at church a few months ago and the subject of clothing size came up. She like the shirt I was wearing and it got us talking about where I purchased it, where we usually shop for clothes in general, and what size we feel the most comfortable in. Another chimed in that they hadn’t bought anything at the anniversary sale because they were not the size they wanted to be so they refused to buy any new clothes.

I have to admit something. I have totally been in that cycle the last two years. Since having Zane, and loosing *some but not all* of that baby weight, I have been so unhappy with my body. I totally play mind games with myself like “I am not buying ANY clothes until I loose weight”. While I agree that setting goals is very important, and obviously you don’t want to purchase a bunch of clothes that are not going to fit – I had to stop and really think about what I was doing to myself.

There have been times that I have looked at myself in the mirror and just been plain disgusted. Disgusted with my efforts (or non-efforts) to loose weight or to take care of myself. I can seriously be so hard on myself sometimes. One thing that I have found through my journey is that made mental dialogue does absolutely NOTHING but tear my spirits down. Instead of taking the feeling I had toward myself and using them to motivate me, I would use them to tear myself down, which then I would use food to find comfort. I would then hate the mirror even more. Vicious cycle.

I am shifting my focus to being more healthy, not what size I am wearing. I am no longer going to find value for myself in what size I put on in the morning. I have to embrace where I am at, flaws and all, in order to move on in a positive, healthy way.

This is about my internal talk to myself and learning to love the body I have in ALL the stages that I go through. If I don’t love it, how am I ever going to spent the time and energy to take care of it.

So… this is a promise to myself to be in love with my amazing body – this body who has gotten me around for 33 years already, has produced one very cute little blonde, and has MANY more years to go. I promise to take care of my body with feeding it whole foods, limiting the BAD stuff and remembering that food is my FUEL and it is important to choose wisely. I promise to keep active, to build muscle & loose fat – but to keep HEALTH and longevity the main goal. I promise to leave the past mistakes and bad feelings in the past, and move forward with a healthy goal in mind.

I am sharing my journey with you openly so that hopefully it will help someone move past the toxic bad self talk and move into a more healthy place both in mind AND body! SO tell me – do you deal with these weight issue mind monsters? Is there a bad mental cycle you need to erase and re-write?

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12 Responses to Does it matter what size you wear?

  1. Krista Montes April 25, 2014 at 8:46 am #

    I too experience the negative self talk. The constant beat down of my own worth because I’ve not accomplished the weight loss I’ve set out for. I, like you, started recently on focusing on health. I set a fitness goal instead of a weight loss goal. I vowed to make better food choices, and not best myself up when I occasionally indulge. I’m looking forward to running the Disney Princess Half Marathon regardless of my weight or appearance. The fact that I will be strong enough to finish is all that matters.

    • Life by Lindsay April 25, 2014 at 8:48 am #

      I am so proud of you for setting and working towards that goal – so awesome! Way to go Krista!!! :) Miss you!

  2. Liz April 25, 2014 at 9:35 am #

    I totally get all of this. Proud of you for making the decision to love yourself! I too have had issues with the way I talk to myself. I’m super viscous in my head when I would NEVER think or talk this way to anyone else. Lately I’ve been focusing on exercise (doing what I love, Zumba, softball, volleyball and walking) and eating right. For me eating right includes what I know doesn’t hurt me as well. I have lots of food allergies and intolerances that I sometimes ignore to have something I want and then get sick for weeks. Not a good cycle lol! Here’s to us being good to ourselves, loving ourselves and here’s to this journey.

    • Life by Lindsay April 25, 2014 at 11:45 pm #

      YES!!! Here is to the journey!!!

  3. Rebekah April 25, 2014 at 10:00 am #

    Love this Linds! This is why I stopped weighing myself regularly and instead turned the focus on how my body performed in my workouts. I don’t eat for my number to go down, but I eat to fuel my body. The results have been a much happier, healthy attitude about myself in general! Not always perfect, but a major improvement from when my focus was on my inadequacies.

    Your transparancy throughout the process is inspiring. Love you!

    • Life by Lindsay April 25, 2014 at 11:45 pm #

      Love you too!!! Glad we are always on the same team!!! You always help me move forward!

  4. Marsha April 25, 2014 at 7:16 pm #

    So proud of your mind set. You are right. Size doesn’t matter. What matters is a good healthy body via exercise and diet. I am one of your biggest cheerleaders in this journey.

    • Life by Lindsay April 25, 2014 at 11:46 pm #

      I appreciate it whole-heartedly!

  5. Natasha April 27, 2014 at 8:09 pm #

    You are BOMB.COM Linds! Loved everything about this post! I think this is how majority of girls think in general. Especially in this day and age where society is constantly painting the picture of what an “attractive” woman should look like.I can relate so much with this! I would (and sometimes still do) think that “the number” reflected my beauty and if I wasn’t a size ___ then I would never look good in a pair of jeans. Which is so not the case! It’s all about being the healthiest version of yourself. And at the end of the day- that’s what matters most. Here’s to ditching the “thigh gap” mentality and shifting our focus on being the healthiest versions of us! Love you girl!

    • Life by Lindsay April 27, 2014 at 8:12 pm #

      YES!! Love it Na!!!! GIRL – you are BOMB – cheers to shifting focus together! Love you MUCHO!!!

  6. Lesli April 27, 2014 at 9:25 pm #

    This post is a great reminder of something I struggle with constantly. I’m trying to remember that I need to talk to myself the way I would my daughter. Awesome job.

    • Life by Lindsay April 27, 2014 at 11:42 pm #

      Thank You Leslie – that is such a great way to think about it!

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